YAYA BOX HISTORY CHAPTER 4

YAYA BOX HISTORY CHAPTER 4

IV. The Descent

J went to Florida for two weeks of rest. During that time, I became increasingly aware — both intuitively and through conversations with the other women — that most of us were undergoing major internal shifts as we examined our lives so closely. I began to think I should have warned them about the emotional hazards involved. As uplifting as it is to celebrate the people and places we love, such intense self‑examination inevitably brings painful memories to the surface.

Interestingly, when we began, everyone except J was energized and positive. J wanted to participate, but she was deeply negative about her life and what she believed she had to show for it. After her trip to Florida and several counseling sessions, she returned with clarity. She told me she planned to buy a blanket chest and to place inside it quilts belonging to her grandmother, her sister, and herself, along with meaningful letters and clippings. She felt more at peace, moving from harsh self‑judgment toward acceptance.

Just as J reached a good place, the rest of us entered the difficult stage she had started in. We had uncovered enough pain that feelings of depression, guilt, and shame were coloring our evaluations of our lives. We were uncomfortable, to say the least.